Medifast Mondays (on Thursday): On Rapid Weight Loss

I am a little late with this, so I hope you will forgive me for doing a Medifast Mondays installment on a Thursday..

Rapid weight loss is a strange, socially awkward change. I have lost over 120 pounds in the last nine months, and plan to lose another 20 or so before I transition off the Medifast program. My appearance has changed pretty significantly over the past year, which means that I get a lot of unsolicited comments from family, friends, and coworkers. Hearing people comment on my appearance is a weird thing. Don’t get me wrong; it is always nice to hear encouraging words, or have someone tell me how great I look. It is the in between comments that are sometimes hard to take.

For the most part, I have received a lot of support, especially from my close friends and family. The people in my life closest to me understand the struggles I have had with my weight, and understand what a big deal this has been for me. I recognize though, that a lot of people I come in contact with have no idea what to say. I also have to recognize that because I have lost a lot of weight, it is a bit startling to someone who has not seen me in a long time. That said, I struggle sometimes with feedback that I get.

Commentary from outsiders falls into a couple categories. There are the people who gush, and can’t say enough complimentary and flattering things to me. I love hearing these things, but I do feel a bit self-conscious being the center of attention and having my appearance be the focus of every conversation. This is especially tough at work. There are some days when I just wish my weight was not a major topic for discussion. I also get a lot of cautionary comments. “You look great, but don’t get too skinny!” and “be careful, you’re wasting away.” These comments usually come from men, who I think in their efforts to be sensitive to the way women view weight loss, end up saying all kinds of weird things. I also get the skeptics. The ones who initially give a compliment, but then follow-up and ask what I am doing. When I tell them the truth, that I am following a very regimented diet and exercising six days a week, they usually sort of raise their eyebrows and offer a reluctant “good job.” I do get a fair amount of judgment from those who don’t approve of how quickly I have lost the weight, and are quick to tell me that slow and steady is better.

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful; this is definitely me being in my own head and not knowing how to field positive attention. My weight has always been a thing for me, always top of mind. And even though the parameters have shifted, my weight remains this thing. I was thinking of this in the context of the work I am doing around my breakup and setting boundaries. I am really bad at setting boundaries. I am even worse at holding people accountable to the boundaries I have set. In thinking about boundaries as it relates to weight loss, I have decided to set some parameters about how I react to comments, and what I am willing to share with people who are outside of my inner circle.

1.        I don’t owe anyone an explanation of what I have done to lose weight. I do not have to feel obligated to share the steps I have taken to get a healthy lifestyle. It is my choice how much or how little I disclose to those who ask, and I do not have to feel bad if the answer is not satisfactory.
2.       “Thank you” is a perfectly appropriate response to a compliment. I don’t have to make light of the weight loss, but I also don’t have to indulge others in their fascination.
3.       I am still a human being, attached to the body that everyone is commenting on. It is perfectly okay for me to feel self-conscious, and to excuse myself from a conversation if I feel uncomfortable.

Setting these boundaries has helped me immensely. I feel less guilty about acknowledging what I have done to lose weight. I feel less obligated to provide an overview of how I feel, and how much I have lost to every person who asks. I feel a little less self-conscious, and a little more comfortable in my skin. I know that it time, this will stop being an issue. As I reach my goal weight, and keep the weight off, it will stop being such a thing. It is really refreshing to think that I will meet people in the future who only know me the way I am now. I am so excited for that day.